Making Friends as an Adult
I have always valued building genuine and strong friendships in my life. I am still close friends with girls from elementary school and created some of my most valued friendships during my years in college and PA school. After college, I found that I struggled to create more friendships and was seriously craving them. I moved to Philadelphia after PA school and my friends from childhood and college were all in different states as well. I was pretty lonely when I first starting living in my new city. Nick had been here before me, so I had some friends through him, which was honestly such a blessing. However, I wanted to make some of my own friends like I did in college and throughout other stages of my life. To me, developing new relationships during a new stage of your life is the most important part of the process.
There are certainly more challenges when making friends as an adult. In college, you literally get to live with people! Usually, this develops into friendships, at least it did in my case. As an adult, especially in a new environment, there are less opportunities to meet people unless you MAKE them! You have to get uncomfortable and outside your comfort zone.
Be outgoing: First things first am I right? In college you and a bunch of people your age were thrown in the same environment together, of course it was easier to make friends!! As an adult, everyone has their own lives, schedules, and other friends they interact with. You have to be outgoing and make yourself a little uncomfortable. When I first moved to Philadelphia, I joined Pure Barre and introduced myself to some of the women in class with me. That is actually how I met my first friend in Philadelphia--and she is one of my close friends now. Put yourself out there and join intramural sports teams, workout classes, book clubs, etc. Chances are you will make friends easily with someone who shares interests with you.
Make a Bumble: Especially, if you are new to an area and do not know anyone I am a big supporter of Bumble BFF. Yes, I was hesitant at first too because I had never really heard of using it to find friends, but hey it works. There are other people new to the area like you looking to build friendships. I will say with this though, it does feel a bit like dating. I have met some friends here, but also went on some “friend dates” where I did not think me and the other girl would be a good match in the long run. Just like in the dating world, I find it best to be honest in these types of situations too. Not to say it is not awkward, but just like dating you do not want to waste anyone’s time. If after meeting someone you do not think your personalities, interests, or anything match just be transparent.
Think of mutual connections: You would be surprised how many people you grew up with, went to college with, etc that live in the same area or have friends that do. I cannot think of a better way to make a friend than through someone you already enjoy being around. Seek out mutual connections in your city and take a chance on them. This is also an opportunity to re-kindle old friendships. I reached out to two different friends from high school that I had lost touch with and I am so thankful that I did.
Making friends as an adult can be challenging and uncomfortable. It can be incredibly rewarding too. Your personality, values, and characteristics are fairly developed at this point. You know what you cherish in a friend and qualities that turn you off from your past experiences. Make the time to get together with new people or reach out to old friends. Listen to your new friend, look for similarities the two of you share, and get vulnerable to build a lasting adult friendship.