The Secret to Practicing Self Love
As I write this I realize that there are so many other blogs, newsletters, opinion pieces etc out there on self care and exactly how to do it. It is kind of insane to me that it is such a hot topic that so many of us need work with. I would love to be in a world where we all just did practice self care and self love, but I know that is far from the reality. I want to take this week to really break down three categories: your mind, your body, and your soul and how to love each of them.
Self-care / love relies on an immense amount of self-awareness. Knowing yourself well is the first step to actually caring for yourself—makes sense right? Pay attention to what is important to you, what drains energy, and what fills your cup back up.
Your Body
Practicing self-care for our body is probably a severely neglected category. Caring for your body means moving, nourishing, and resting it. This looks like movement daily (if possible) and prioritizing sunlight exposure early in the day. The more you move outside, the better. Your body requires different physical fitness routines—stretching, lifting weights, cardio, and resistance training. Try to mix it up with your workouts and listen to what your body needs on a particular day. Fueling your body with nutritious, whole foods is beyond essential. If you rely heavily on frozen foods and take out try out something new. Look up nutritious recipes and grocery shop with a heavy priority on fruits, veggies, and lean proteins. By limiting sugar and processed foods you will feel fuller for longer, beat brain fog, and build muscle. On the topic of what you intake, prioritize water. Start carrying a water bottle with you everywhere and sip throughout the day to keep your body hydrated. Prioritizing sleep is the next biggie as you may have guessed. Do your best to maintain a regular sleep schedule ( I know easier said than done for my other healthcare professionals) but this one is really important. Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. Limit exposure to artificial light prior to bedtime and create a routine in the evening that relaxes and prepares you for a good night’s rest.
Your Mind
The mind is a tricky one. I know many struggle with anxiety, decreased self-esteem, and an overall sense of decreased worth. This is where you need to practice controlling your thoughts. Self-love for your mind can be as simple as adding some daily habits into your routine. Start each day with gratitude journaling—write down 3-5 things you are grateful for that happened the day prior. I am asking you to get specific here—do not just write that the weather was nice. Write down something specific that was unique to that day that made you belly laugh, feel loved, or an accomplishment. I mean this can be as simple as writing down something hilarious your dog did that made you truly burst out laughing (guilty)! Nothing causes stress like the feeling of a lack of control. Of course, there are things out of your control, but control what you can. Get organized whether your calendar is on your phone or written plan out your weeks and schedule in time for the self-care activities discussed under the body category—this eliminates the “I ran out of time” excuse. Another great self-care mechanism for your mind is to de-clutter your space. When you live in chaos— you feel like chaos. Clean up your kitchen each night, make your bed, and throw old clothes out. Slowly organize the space around you and I guarantee you will feel better. Reading is another great way to love your mind. I challenge you to try reading two books at once—-one should be nonfiction that teaches you something/ works on self-development and the other a fiction book for pleasure. What you will find is that it will likely also limit your screen time because you will be so busy reading.
Your Soul
Self-care for your soul is really where the groundbreaking work is done. This is where you listen to your gut and take note of what fills up your cup and makes you feel genuinely happy. Soul work is absolutely essential for self-love, but it can sometimes be challenging. It is easy to neglect what your soul wants when you focus on others’ expectations, people pleasing, and things outside of your control. Only you can answer what feeds your soul, but of course, I have a few suggestions. The first thing I want you to do is to write down ( I mean literally brain dump) anything that makes you feel happy, loved, and in a state of flow. Flow is when you are so immersed in something you are doing because it brings you joy. Once this list is done the rest is simple—prioritize those activities. Easier said than done right? Ways that you can start prioritizing that list are saying no/setting boundaries when you need to fulfill your own self-care. Letting go of others’ expectations of you if they are not aligned with what you want is important. Communicate to others about your boundaries. Boundaries are essential in every relationship and while they can be uncomfortable to set it is much better than the latter. Tighten your inner circle— eliminate toxic friends from your life— your energy is way too precious for that. Forgive yourself. Stop beating yourself up over something you could have done or said differently. Apologize if needed and then move on and learn from it. I know this is a lot of information, but the last and single most important thing in loving your soul is remembering who the hell you are. What do you love to do, what makes you fulfilled, what drains you, and what are your goals? Focus on that and I promise the love will come.
We covered a lot of ground this week—these are all suggestions to practice self-care. Try starting with one thing in each category at a time and building upon it. The art of self-love takes practice and giving yourself grace along the way. There will be days you will not feel like loving yourself and others when you are incredibly happy and proud of yourself. These waxing and waning days are normal, but what is important is that you are making continued, positive progress in the direction of accepting, nourishing, and prioritizing yourself and your needs.