Beyond Bubble Baths: Discovering Authentic Self Care
What Actually is Self-Care
We live in a world where self-care is about treating yourself, indulging, and overspending. Do not get me wrong, while there is a time and a place for that (and yes it is fun) I would not define that as “self-care”. Self-care is often the difficult or challenging thing we must do to have a better life and think more long-term. Self-care involves us becoming quiet and honest with ourselves about what is no longer working for or serving us. Self-care can be uncomfortable and unwanted–it can be easier to hide behind society’s view of self-care which is indulging in drinks or desserts to melt the stress away, a night binging TV, or any other thing we do and feel guilty of. While rest and relaxation are productive, sabotaging your future due to avoidance isn’t. We are going to break down the top 10 essential self-care practices–that actually look out for your future self.
Sit in Silence
Do you find it wild how uncomfortable sitting in silence is? If not, maybe it is just me. I am so type A and always running around and doing something that the idea of meditating or sitting with my thoughts without music or a podcast on is like a foreign language. However, it truly is an essential practice to engage in. In a world where we are constantly stimulated, it can feel refreshing to sit in silence and try to quiet your mind, and if I am being completely honest it’s immensely challenging. Start small, try sitting in silence for just 3-5 minutes in the morning. Gradually increase the time if you feel it is beneficial for you.
Workout
Moving your body is the best way to naturally reduce stress, improve mood, and sleep better. It is what our bodies are made to do. We are not meant to sit at a desk all day staring at a computer. While that is unfortunately most people’s realities, it makes it even more essential to prioritize movement every single day. If classes work for you great, if moving on your own outside does then okay, maybe it is even a mixture of both. Find what works for you and make a routine out of it. I will always encourage a variety of exercises from strength training, cardiovascular, and then yoga. Especially as women, it is imperative to build muscle mass in your early years to help with aging gracefully (and healthier) through the years.
Eat Healthier and Assessing Your Nutrition
Learning to cook for yourself is harder than ordering takeout. Fueling your body with food that is nutrient-dense is harder than grabbing a third coffee. The difference is one will serve you long-term while the other does not. Learn to cook, learn about nutrition, and make an active effort to fuel your body with what it needs. One approach to food is asking yourself before you consume it will this take away energy in two hours or provide it? You usually know the answer. When it comes to making nutritionally sound choices a great way to go about it is the 80/20 rule. Prioritize healthier food options 80% of the time, usually, this is during the week. I believe in moderation here because life is still meant to be lived and that’s the other 20% of the time. Keep in mind the word moderation was used. Do not let the weekends be a time to go completely off the rails and wreck all the progress you made during the week. Always make mindful food choices.
Clean up your Finances
Self-care in the finance department means taking a long hard look at your spending and saving habits as well as your debts. This one can be hard especially if it feels much more comfortable to avoid it. This could mean organizing a budget for each month, working on building a high-yield savings account or learning about investing. This area can be somewhat challenging because we are not always taught these skills growing up. It is not part of the regular school curriculum to learn how to manage money, let alone invest it. Something that has been pivotal for me in my twenties is to talk and learn from others who have been successful, listen to podcasts, and read books to enhance my financial literacy.
Healing your Inner Child
This is a personal and individual journey. First, you can acknowledge past experiences. Recognize and accept the impact of these experiences on your inner child. This can help identify emotional wounds that may have occurred and also allow your body to really feel and validate these emotions. You need to allow yourself to fully experience and express your emotions. Create a safe space where you can freely express or process any unresolved feelings from the past. Consider speaking to a professional–there are specific therapists/ counselors that specialize in inner child healing. These professionals can provide tools for your specific needs. Remember, healing is a unique and ongoing process. Take it at your own pace, be patient with yourself, and celebrate each step forward.
Set Boundaries
Establishing boundaries in relationships allows you to prioritize your own needs and maintain relationships with healthy dynamics. Boundaries establish limits on acceptable behavior, communication, and expectations. They help to prevent codependency and emotional manipulation.
Boundaries also allow individuals to maintain autonomy and pursue other personal goals, interests, and relationships. By preventing a suffocating feeling it also fosters mutual growth for the parties involved in the relationships. By respecting boundaries there is an environment that is conducive to self-improvement. Boundaries look different everywhere– with friends, partners, parents, and at work.
Check Your Relationships
Our relationships either make us joyful and happy or drain our energy. It is so important to do relationship audits in your life. This means with family, friends, and significant others. If you think there are areas of these relationships that can improve make sure to effectively communicate what you want to see differently. Remember, no one can read your mind. If in these relationships you feel like you cannot be your true self it may actually be time to re-evaluate them all together.
Invest in Your Personal Growth
Through self-reflection, setting goals, and challenging ourselves to step outside our comfort zones we unlock hidden talents, strengths, and abilities we never knew we had. Personal growth empowers us to reach new heights of achievement. By investing in our own development we enhance our capabilities, increase competence, and become better equipped to navigate the challenges and complexities of life.
Practice Developing Confidence
I will preach this from the rooftops for as long as I can–Confidence is a muscle–and how do we build muscle? We work out! You have to practice. You have to be in situations that challenge, stretch, and push you to the limits of your comfort zone to start to develop more confidence. While you are in the process of growing, practicing positive self-talk will definitely help. Be mindful of your inner dialogue. Setting small and achievable goals is also a great way to start developing confidence.
Restrategize After Disappointment
When faced with disappointment it is important to take a step back and reflect. Acknowledge your emotions; know it is okay to feel upset, let yourself feel. Analyze the situation and learn from the experience. Disappointments are often packed with powerful lessons, reflect on what you could have done differently and pivot how you handle things in the future. This brings us to setting new goals/aspirations. Determine what you want to achieve and set realistic targets, use your previous disappointments as motivation! After you look at your revised goals, develop a new strategy and break this down into actionable steps you can take. Remember, setbacks are a part of life. How you respond and adapt to them is what actually matters. Stay positive, stay focused, and keep moving forward.